About
This isn't a transformation story with a triumphant ending. It's documentation of the cycle itself - and the realization that identity exists independent of the mirror.
Peak Dad Bod Performance
This is where I am right now (December 2025). Not a "before" photo with a promise. Not the "rock bottom" before the montage. Just the current state in an endless cycle.
The shift happens gradually, invisibly, until one morning the wave function collapses and you're forced to observe what's been there all along. That observation changed everything. What had been unconscious became hyper-conscious. The beach became impossible.
The Beach I Avoided
Swimming has always been what I loved. The ocean, the rhythm of waves, the pure physics of moving through water. Until I stopped going.
Taking my shirt off at the beach - something I'd done thousands of times - became impossible. Swimming, the thing that had always been mine, was suddenly conditional on meeting some standard I'd internalized.
For a long time I asked the wrong question: "How do I get back to where I was?"
The better question: "Can identity exist separate from physical appearance?"
If your worth is tied to your body fat percentage, you're building on quicksand. Bodies change. They're supposed to. The cycle is the point.
You are not your "before" photo. You are not your "after" photo. You are the constant observer through all states of change. The beach doesn't check your body composition at the door - you do that yourself.
If you're avoiding your version of "the beach," this is documentation that you're not alone. Transformation is always available, but never required for you to reclaim what was always yours.
The ocean is still there. It doesn't care what you look like.
Why This Journal Exists
This is documentation of the full cycle in real time. Not a highlight reel, but a record of the entire oscillation between states.
I'm documenting getting into shape, going out of shape, and (eventually) getting back into shape again. Not because the physical transformation matters most, but because tracking the cycle proves identity remains constant through all of it.
When I'm athletic, I'm still me. When I'm not athletic, I'm still me. The beach doesn't grant or revoke personhood based on body composition. That separation between form and identity is what this journal documents.
If typical fitness content is about the destination, this is about proving there is no destination. Just states. And the person experiencing those states remains unchanged regardless of which one they're currently occupying.
No programs. No monetization. No "transformation secrets." Just one person testing whether it's possible to exist in superposition - simultaneously all states, defined by none.